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Is What You See Really True

2 February 2012


two faces.jpg

Last week I experienced a very interesting situation.   I was in the gym and one of the fitness instructors that did not know me came over to introduce themselves and have a chat.  Now I am not a young woman and definitely do not have a slim fit looking body. 

The tonality that the trainer used when speaking was one I recognised that people sometimes use when speaking to children.  Her voice was raised and she spoke to me as if I had no knowledge about keeping fit.  She was only seeing me from the outside and did not have a clue about who I was on the inside. 

What I found interesting was my reaction, even with all the training I have I still felt patronised and quite irritated at being spoken to in this way. You see for the last few years it has been my mission to get fit (not slim or skinny) I work out three to four times a week, do yoga and am the fittest I have ever been in my life. 

When I imagined looking at me from the perspective of this young trainer I could see a slightly overweight middle age woman who looked as if she was in need of some training.

The point of this is that until you find out information about someone you do not know anything about them and any opinion you have about who they are you have made up in your own imagination. 

How many people have you dismissed as not being good at things as they don’t look the part.  In fact this is exactly what happened when Susan Boyle took to the stage before she started singing.

Over 60% of our communication is non-verbal so when you are introducing yourself to someone make sure that you use a tonality of curiosity and focus on finding out who they really are not and who you think they are.

You may just be surprised at what you find.

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November 22, 2012

1st Mo HarfordManaging Director, Momentum Training and Development Ltd